A Prayer to Help You Forgive Someone Who Hurt You

Maybe you’ve tried to forgive and found yourself right back where you started. Maybe you’re not sure you even want to forgive yet — you just know you’re supposed to, and the gap between those two things feels enormous. Maybe the wound is so fresh that reading a prayer feels almost insulting, like someone handing you a bandage when what you need is surgery.

Wherever you are, this prayer is not a performance. It is not a magic formula that will dissolve the pain if you say the right words. It is an honest conversation with a God who already knows where you are — and who is not waiting for you to have it together before He draws close.

Read it slowly. Pause wherever something lands. Make it yours.

A Prayer for Forgiving Someone Who Hurt You

Lord,

I’m coming to you with something I can’t carry well on my own. You already know what happened — you know what was said, what was done, how it landed, and how long I’ve been living with the weight of it. I don’t need to explain it to you. But I need to say it out loud, to stop pretending it didn’t matter: I was hurt. What happened was real, and it cost me something, and I haven’t known what to do with that.

I’ll be honest with you — there is a part of me that doesn’t want to forgive. There’s a part of me that thinks forgiveness lets them off the hook, that releasing this means it didn’t matter, that moving forward somehow erases what they did. I know, somewhere deeper, that isn’t true. But I need you to help me feel the difference between those things, because right now they feel the same.

I don’t want to stay here. I don’t want to be defined by what was done to me. I don’t want bitterness to become the thing that shapes how I see the world, how I treat the people around me, how I come before you. I have seen what that does to a person. I don’t want it for myself.

So I am choosing, right now — imperfectly, incompletely, with all the resistance still present in me — to begin releasing this. Not because I feel ready. Not because the pain is gone. But because you have asked me to, and because I believe that what you ask for, you also equip me to do.

I release my claim on revenge. I release my right to make them pay. I place them — their actions, their conscience, whatever justice is owed — into your hands, because you are a far better judge than I am, and because holding onto this is destroying me more than it is affecting them.

I ask you to do in me what I cannot do for myself. Soften the places that have gone hard. Bring healing to the places that are still raw. Help me, over time, to be able to genuinely wish good things for this person — not because what they did was acceptable, but because you loved them enough to send your Son, just as you loved me. I am not there yet. I am asking you to take me there.

And when the anger comes back — because I know it will — remind me of this moment. Remind me that I have already made this choice. Help me make it again.

Thank you that you don’t ask me to do this alone. Thank you that your Spirit intercedes when I don’t have the words. Thank you that your mercies are new every morning, which means tomorrow I can return to this and start again if I need to.

I trust you with this. Take it from me.

Amen.

Four Verses to Return to in the Days Ahead

A single prayer, however sincere, rarely finishes the work of forgiveness. In the days and weeks ahead, these four passages are worth returning to — especially on the days when the old anger comes back and you find yourself needing to choose again.

Romans 12:19

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

When the desire for retaliation resurfaces — and it will, especially early on — this verse is a steady anchor. You are not letting the offense go unanswered. You are placing it in better hands. God sees what happened. He does not need your help settling the account. What He asks of you is to stop trying to settle it yourself, and to trust Him with what you cannot control.

Ephesians 4:32

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

On the days when forgiving feels impossible, come back to the second half of this verse: just as in Christ God forgave you. Sit with that for a moment. What you were forgiven. How completely. How undeservedly. The standard is not your emotional readiness. It is the grace that has already been extended to you. That grace doesn’t make forgiveness easy — but it does make it possible.

Lamentations 3:22–23

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Forgiveness for a deep wound is rarely accomplished in a single prayer. It is more often a daily return — a decision made again in the morning, before the day has a chance to stir up the old pain. These verses are permission to come back. The mercies are new. You haven’t used them up. Every day you return to the choice is not a failure — it is faithfulness.

Matthew 11:28–30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Unforgiveness is heavy. You have probably already felt that — the way it follows you, the way it surfaces at unexpected moments, the way it colors things that have nothing to do with it. Jesus’s invitation here is not abstract. He is offering to carry what is crushing you. His yoke is lighter than the one you’ve been carrying. Come to Him with it — not just once, but as many times as you need to.

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Three Reflection Questions

These questions are not meant to be answered quickly. Sit with each one. You might write out your responses, bring them to a trusted friend or counselor, or simply hold them in prayer.

1. What specifically am I holding onto — and what am I afraid will happen if I let it go?

Forgiveness is easier to resist when it stays abstract. Naming precisely what was done, how it affected you, and what you fear releasing can bring clarity. Many people discover that underneath the anger is grief — the loss of trust, of a relationship, of a version of their life they expected. Sometimes the fear underneath is that releasing the offense means the hurt didn’t count. Naming these things honestly is not an obstacle to forgiveness. It is part of the path.

2. How have I experienced forgiveness in my own life — from God or from someone else — and what did it cost the person who gave it?

Forgiveness rarely looks generous from the outside when you’re the one who needs to extend it. But recalling moments when you were the one who needed it — and someone gave it anyway, or God gave it anyway — can shift your perspective. Grace never comes free. Someone always pays the cost of canceling a debt. Remembering that you have been on the receiving end of that cost can soften the resistance to being on the giving end.

3. What would it look like, practically, to take one small step toward forgiveness today — not the whole journey, just today?

Forgiveness as a complete destination can feel so far away that it becomes paralyzing. But one step is always possible. Maybe it’s praying the prayer above and meaning two sentences of it, even if the rest still feels distant. Maybe it’s choosing not to tell the story one more time to someone who doesn’t need to hear it. Maybe it’s asking God to give you the willingness to forgive, even before you have the willingness itself. Small steps taken consistently cover more ground than waiting until you feel ready to take a giant leap.

Forgiveness is not a feeling you summon. It is a direction you keep walking in, one day at a time, asking God to take you where you cannot get yourself. You are not alone in this. He is with you in the hardest part of it.

For further reading and support:

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to forgive someone who isn’t sorry?

Yes, for your own freedom. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing the other person — it’s about releasing yourself from bitterness. You can forgive someone who never apologizes.

Can God forgive any sin?

Yes. 1 John 1:9 says God forgives ALL sins when we confess. No sin is beyond God’s grace — not addiction, not adultery, not anything.

What’s the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation?

Forgiveness is a personal decision to release bitterness — it can be done alone. Reconciliation requires both parties to rebuild trust, and isn’t always possible or safe.

Keep Growing in Faith

For a deeper dive into this topic, explore our complete guide: Forgiveness: A Complete Faith-Based Guide.

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